No hope No love No glory.

via Google

I've always had a very complicated mind.

I've always had my own way on figuring things out.

When I was younger, I dreamt of becoming a cashier, weird but well that's the truth. I found it amazing to press on the cash register, count the money and hand it over to the customer. Just the thought of it, could make me the happiest girl standing on two feet. My parents even bought me this McDonald's cash register which was quite pricey at that time for me to play and expand my mind. Good times I must say.

Then when I was 9 and was studying in Junior High, I wanted to be a pharmacist just like my mother. And I knew I could be a good pharmacist as at that age I could prescribe the right medications for my family members when they were ill. How sublime.

When I turned 11, I wanted to be a doctor. A surgeon to be exact as I found it amazing that these people could save other people's life and I wanted to be one of those people whom people actually look up to. I wanted to be them so much that cutting things was my number one hobby.

Then I entered High School and I got confused. Bedazzled by the numerous options I had. My parents kept reminding me that I was still too young to think about my future that was actually five years away from me. They told me that I have a long time to figure my life out. I discovered so many things and I wanted to be so many people.

At the end of the year 2009, I finally decided that I wanted to be a journalist/broadcaster. That was when I realized that this is what I really want. And this who I am and this is what I love the most. I want to travel, and I want to write, I want to meet new people and I want to discover new things. Up to this very day, I still want to be a journalist/broadcaster.

I hope and pray to be a good successful one in the years to come.

Til then, here's to new beginnings for you and for me.

Colors and Promises.

via Google

 "Things break in the end."

My mind and heart haven't been at par off late. There are times where I just feel like the blood gushing through my veins feel like what seem to feel like tidal waves. And these waves keep crashing the walls of my heart a lot more than expected. 

I'm  tired. Sick and tired. 

You know, I have always feared of the thought of leaving high school. I feared that whatever that's built will fall apart in the end. And to my surprise, a few things have fallen apart. It wasn't easy growing and building the bonds and friendships, it was hard and it was painful. That a lot of determination, effort, energy, heartbreaks had to be put into consideration. Even some feelings were neglected. My feelings to be exact.

The things that happen around me seem so petty these days. So irrelevant and mindless yet it still happens. Sometimes, over and over again that I have actually come to a stage where I just give up on things. And I don't find the need on wanting to patch certain things anymore. I don't normally give up but on cases like this, I just don't see a solution to it. Because at the very end, I get the blame and I get blamed and I'm the one to be blamed. Which is entirely unfair. 

Everyone says no one understands them, their situation, their feelings and everything else that they don't really think about how others feel. It takes two to tango. So if you feel like no one understands you or if you feel alone and miserable, believe me when I say that every other person you're actually referring to feels the exact same way. So take a moment of your time, and think. It's not rocket science you know to stop and think about how others feel for a change.

I guess we have to face the music at the end of every chapter. Only in this chapter, the music isn't fun hippy music instead it's a broken record that just goes on and on.

23 things I'd like to say.

"You know they say life begins when you're forty ? 

Well, I say life begins whenever you want it to begin. "

It's August 23rd. And on this breezy Tuesday afternoon of Ramadhan, I realized that there are just a million and one things that I've learned, throughout this exciting, bumpy, horrifying yet amazing year. But since it's the 23rd, here goes the best 23 things I've learned ;

1. Allah is always fair and just.

2. Family is everything, yes, EVERYTHING.

3. Anything that is edible and halal is nice and amazing.

4. It's never too late to do or try something new.

5. Practice makes perfect.

6. People seriously come and go, you have to expect the unexpected.

7. Sometimes, you just have to be selfish to save yourself from being crushed by others.

8. There are jerks out there who don't deserve your time of day.

9. Nobody's perfect. 

10. You can never ever please everyone. So to make things fair and just for you, only please yourself even if it means you have to stand alone with no one to hold.

11. Things don't always go your way.

12. Life is amazing if you just believe.

13. Fairytales do happen. And every girl or guy deserves their own fairytale ending.

14. No one, and I mean no one at all can make you feel inferior without your consent.

15. Never change who you are for someone else. If they can't accept you remember that there are others who can.

16. What goes around, always, comes around. Karma is nice at times.

17. Don't ever hurt others, cause no one deserves to get hurt.

18. Every downfall only has one agenda behind it : To get you back on the ground.

19. Not everyone is nice.

20. Blue pen works best for my handwriting.

21. To always be happy even when you're at your lowest.

22. Whoever created maggi mee especially maggi mee curry is a legend.

23. I'm a shopaholic.