High above me.

You know how it feels like to feel content about everything that is going on in your life ?

Alhamdulillah, I am feeling it, right here, right now. And for that I am lost at words with the blessings that God has bestowed upon me throughout my journey in life. I am gratefully thankful.

College just started for me. At first, I was scared and nervous. I didn't know what to expect since I'll be meeting new people, making new friends. And I was alone, all alone with no one I knew. But I think, as far as I'm concerned and as far as the world is concerned, I made it through. God knows what the future holds but believe me, I am a much stronger person now than I ever was before.

The first day of college, the first minute I walked in was the hardest and the most nerve-wrecking moments of my life. Somehow I learned plenty from that day. I realized that I am no longer a kid anymore. And it occurred to me, how amazing the sacrifices my parents have made just so I could have a roof over my head, good food to eat, pretty clothes to wear and most of all a load full of never-ending love from the both of them. As a child, what more could I ask for ?

Many say I'm conservative and cliche. It's alright. It's the 'in-thing', these days to judge someone before you know them anyway. But I don't mind, it just shows how shallow minded people are and how ironically judgmental they can be. It's pathetic and scary, really, but when it's already the nature of humanity, we cannot say much but to just agree. No ?

Here's to a better future.

Much love.

Randomization #1

Pelik rasanya how this world goes. Kan ?

Then and then again.

There are certain things in life that you can say outwardly, without hesitant, without fear, without thinking, out of impulse, and just for the sake of pouring everything out.

But,

There are some other things that are supposed to be said nicely, without fear, in a soothing acceptable relatable way so that others can absorb. And not do it, just because.

Then again,

There are some things that are better left unspoken, for the better.

Yeah, that's just how it is. Learn it, understand it, and accept it.

Because some people just don't know how to say things nicely. Is asking to say it nicely and in a respectful way that hard ? I don't think so. So the LEAST you could do is try.

May Allah bless you and your soul. Amin.

All smiles and nothing more.

Do you believe in second chances ?

Do you believe that people change for the better ?

Do you believe that things happen for reasons of their own ?

Do you believe that our life has been planned out ahead of us ?

Do you believe in fate ?

Do you believe in love ?

I don't know if you do but I certainly do. And my certainty in believing everything that I believe has actually molded me into the person I am today. 2011 changed many things. Changed my perceptions, changed my views and everything else. Life is about changing anyway, right ? 

So if change is good, then change we must.

I hope 2012 will be much better than 2011. 

Here's to a New Year.

No hope No love No glory.

via Google

I've always had a very complicated mind.

I've always had my own way on figuring things out.

When I was younger, I dreamt of becoming a cashier, weird but well that's the truth. I found it amazing to press on the cash register, count the money and hand it over to the customer. Just the thought of it, could make me the happiest girl standing on two feet. My parents even bought me this McDonald's cash register which was quite pricey at that time for me to play and expand my mind. Good times I must say.

Then when I was 9 and was studying in Junior High, I wanted to be a pharmacist just like my mother. And I knew I could be a good pharmacist as at that age I could prescribe the right medications for my family members when they were ill. How sublime.

When I turned 11, I wanted to be a doctor. A surgeon to be exact as I found it amazing that these people could save other people's life and I wanted to be one of those people whom people actually look up to. I wanted to be them so much that cutting things was my number one hobby.

Then I entered High School and I got confused. Bedazzled by the numerous options I had. My parents kept reminding me that I was still too young to think about my future that was actually five years away from me. They told me that I have a long time to figure my life out. I discovered so many things and I wanted to be so many people.

At the end of the year 2009, I finally decided that I wanted to be a journalist/broadcaster. That was when I realized that this is what I really want. And this who I am and this is what I love the most. I want to travel, and I want to write, I want to meet new people and I want to discover new things. Up to this very day, I still want to be a journalist/broadcaster.

I hope and pray to be a good successful one in the years to come.

Til then, here's to new beginnings for you and for me.

Colors and Promises.

via Google

 "Things break in the end."

My mind and heart haven't been at par off late. There are times where I just feel like the blood gushing through my veins feel like what seem to feel like tidal waves. And these waves keep crashing the walls of my heart a lot more than expected. 

I'm  tired. Sick and tired. 

You know, I have always feared of the thought of leaving high school. I feared that whatever that's built will fall apart in the end. And to my surprise, a few things have fallen apart. It wasn't easy growing and building the bonds and friendships, it was hard and it was painful. That a lot of determination, effort, energy, heartbreaks had to be put into consideration. Even some feelings were neglected. My feelings to be exact.

The things that happen around me seem so petty these days. So irrelevant and mindless yet it still happens. Sometimes, over and over again that I have actually come to a stage where I just give up on things. And I don't find the need on wanting to patch certain things anymore. I don't normally give up but on cases like this, I just don't see a solution to it. Because at the very end, I get the blame and I get blamed and I'm the one to be blamed. Which is entirely unfair. 

Everyone says no one understands them, their situation, their feelings and everything else that they don't really think about how others feel. It takes two to tango. So if you feel like no one understands you or if you feel alone and miserable, believe me when I say that every other person you're actually referring to feels the exact same way. So take a moment of your time, and think. It's not rocket science you know to stop and think about how others feel for a change.

I guess we have to face the music at the end of every chapter. Only in this chapter, the music isn't fun hippy music instead it's a broken record that just goes on and on.

Nothing lasts forever.

This weary heart is tired. This weary heart is sick. This weary heart feels so heavy. This weary heart just hopes for the best. This weary heart doesn't want anything to end. This weary heart is sorry.