These days, the weather has been rather unpredictable. It rains in the middle of daylight, in the middle of the night, just about anytime of the day. It rains and it shines every single day. Its just like life. A lot like life. There are days where your life just seems so hot, tensed up, stress building, mind boggling like the sun and there are days where your life is cold, peaceful, at ease, stress free like the rain.
I shouldn't be posting up anything this time around, I'm just weeks away, from my big important examination. But, unwinding after a very long day, is a must and is a virtue. Since writing seems to be the only resort, and since my mind is filled with so many things, I shall write away my sorrows and accomplishments.
These past few years in high school, taught me a lot. Taught me the true meaning of life. Might not be everything I should know about life but I've been through the gees of the things that complicates this life. I know, it has become a habit for me to say that everything changes and that you can never trust anyone, but its these few days and weeks that has made me realize that those words I always say are actually true.
People really change. Some to an extend where you can't imagine. Some don't even change and just remain the same. I don't know how & what I've become but I do know, I am now, not the person I was when I was 15, or the person I was when I was 16 or the person I was before that. Whether I've changed for better or for worse, I can never be too sure and it still remains to be seen. But what saddens me the most is that the people whom I've trust whole-heartedly, whom I've relied on before, some are not who they used to be, some are mean, some are inconsiderate and some just couldn't be bothered. For all you know, I have become one of those people too and if that were to be true, my deepest apologies as I never intended to do so.
But like they say, people always change, whether we like it or not.
Then, comes the part where you just feel like your personal space, your life is invaded but unwanted people, unwanted problems, in short ; nuisance. It's just pathetic, when what you say and what you do is being watched and guarded by everyone around you. When whatever that comes out from your mouth is being judged when they know peanuts about you. It's more sickening when stories about you are being made up as you speak, most of them never even happened in the first place. The gruesome part of all is that, people actually buy it without even analyzing the truth, without even investigating further. Instead they just assume and put two and two together by themselves.
But I find that the easiest way out of the fuss and to not burden yourself with such a hassle is to always remind yourself, "It's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter".
Some people think they're all that and just the best, they fail to observe or even care about the life others are going through. Some think they're pious enough to give advise to others. Some mindlessly triggers other people's anger. Some just loves making up stories from whatever source they have. Some just love seeing other people tumble down. Some don't even have the courtesy to make amends with people they might have hurt. Some, just don't care.
But, it's human nature. Nobody is perfect, anyway. That has always been the reason, the argument and the verdict.
Nonetheless I am only human and making mistakes and realizing them after doing them is just my nature. I am not perfect, not even close. With that, forgive me for my wrongdoings and my silly mistakes. It's those mistakes that mold us into becoming a better person. And it's those mistakes that changes us into better people. Mistakes changes us, it really does.
Quite frankly, I am scared to face the life I'll be living after school ends. Scared by the thought of starting over, making new friends, learning & experiencing amazing new things and the list can go on and on. Scared to leave my high school life behind. They say the world out there ain't easy and the fact that they say the world is cruel scares me the most.
But at the end of everyday, we wake up and it's a brand new day. We still smile and laugh even after a rough and tough day. Because at the end of everyday, we all eventually get a grip of ourselves, we get on and we move on with our lives and we eventually leave our past behind us. Because we know that everything happens for a reason and if things don't go how it's supposed too, we know Allah, The Almighty has better plans for us.
